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mood |
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 pissed off |
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music |
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Death Cab for Cutie |
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I have a story for you all. It's why the fox in the last entry was bitchy, even though it was days ago. It's the same reason.
I'm rooming with Jenna Radant. We moved into our spacious apartment this past December, and it's been great living a block from school. The price is something I'm barely making, but I'm fine with that, because I like to live simply and only buy things I need. Anyway.
In December, I was a complete slob, or very close to it. Jenna often cleaned up after me, I would assume. I left many things around and didn't take care of things when I said I would; this phase passed in less than a month, roughly. After I moved in completely, I took a lot more pride in what I was doing, and I was also working at a country club where everything had to be done just so, and everything had a place. I took this line of thinking and applied it to my life, and it felt great to have everything where it belonged, neatly, all the time. It was at this point that Jenna started to regress in her duties as a joint house-keeper. This has been going on for months, and has been progressively becoming worse.
I'll come home to an epic mess, complete with McDonald's bags, blankets, clothes, pillows, spare change, crayons, books and worst of all: food spoils dried to the bottom of bowls and cups left all over the living room, and it smells horrible. The sink will be full, but she will be conveniently out. I'll go in our room, and her side of the room is absolutly covered in a mix of dirty and clean, apparently, clothes that have been sitting there for months, judging by the smell. I'll bring guests over to our place and they will remark on how every room in the place is messy, how the kitchen smells of food spoils, and how there is no room to sit down because there are clothes and purses and who knows what else all over the chairs and floors. It has now been about three of four months that these things have occured.
I tried cleaning by myself, since I was the one who obviously had a problem living like a slob, but it proved tedious and extrememly time-consuming to be a full-time student with two part-time jobs, and to be cleaning up after herself, her room-mate, and whoever else came by and left their dishes in the living room.
I tried asking nicely for things to be done, or reminded her of what she said she would do. Mind you: she was still a VERY part-time student who was also unemployed. Many days, I would come home to the same old scene, only with her covered up on the futon watching television. True, there was a period of time when she was ill, but not incapacitated. I understand wanting to rest to become well again, but I can't understand her being completely unable to care for herself at all or take care of her own things or things she used for as long as she did.
I tried asking for her and her guests' help in keeping the place tidy; not spotless, mind you. I merely asked a few things of her guests, which included Stacey and Mary, a girl from school: to please place used utensils in the cup by the sink so that we didn't have to sift through nasty dishes just to find the silverware to wash it, and to please rinse everything and/or throw away or store extra food, so that it wouldn't dry to the bottoms of bowls or be wasted (this would also make it easier to wash bowls later). I don't think this was unreasonable, but I'd come home to find bowls still out in the living room time and time again, food stuck to the bottom, and cups half full of warm milk, or forks at the bottom of the sink. I'd take them to the kitchen and put them in the pile, only to decide to wash them once again, because she hadn't kept her word, and had left the ever-growing pile of dishes in the sink for more than three days. As for the matter of the clothes, pillows, what have you: I gathered her/guests' clothing/posessions and piled it on her side of the room so that it wouldn't be in the way, and straightened the living room. I collected and disposed of the trash and that would be that... until tomorrow, when I'd have to vaccuum all the food and magazine scraps up from under the clothes, blankets and pillows. As for my guests, when we were finished eating, I would collect the bowls and utensils and deposit them in their respective places. If we left pillows and blankets amiss, which was a rare occassion, I would return home and rectify the issue promptly.
Finally, two weeks ago, I left a modest, pleasant list of helpful reminders that would help Jenna, our guests and I keep the kitchen clean. It had only a few simple requests on it, such as putting the utensils in the cup, not leaving standing water in pots, what have you, unless we were letting something soak, and not putting glass in the sinks, as things tended to pile up and glass will break/had broken under duress. I ended it with a big thank you, fixed it to the door of an unused metal cabinet with a strong magnet and left. I came home to find my list wet and ruined in the sink atop a pile of plates. Needless to say, I was nothing short of angry by this point. I called Jenna's phone to find that she was "busy on the dance floor" and Stacey was the only one with whom I could speak presently. I asked point blank if Jenna had ruined my list and Stacey gave me a vague answer, but I did not want to press it and left it at that. I fixed it back on the door with two magnets and it hasn't moved since. One magnet has even been removed since then and the paper has mysteriously stayed where I placed it.
A week ago, I was extremely rushed and only had time to do everything but the silverware that Jenna had left for four or more days, so I left her a list of tasks that needed to be done around the apartment that had been neglected for some time. Let it be known that I was having a guest over and did not tell her that this was a reason for wanting the work done, though I felt it irrelevant. I asked her (with many pleases and a thank you) to finish the silverware, as they'd all ready been soaking in the sink, to clean up her mess in the living room (as she'd held a get-together with drinking the night prior), to vaccuum, and to clean up her things in the bathroom and her make-up stains all over the floor and the make-up stand. I even told her that if she didn't get around to doing some of the tasks she could call me and fore-warn me of what I had in store when I returned. I did not receive a phone call.
When I DID return, not only did I find the dishes not done, and the bathroom still messy, but another note, addressed to me. Jenna found it necessary to deem me "demanding" and "bitchy", making accusations like I often make messes and don't clean them up, that I have an attitude problem with her, and that I demand her respect but didn't give her any. Virtually the entire note was incorrect, so I wrote her another note explaining why I was upset and why I was justified in asking her to do some work around the place. When I returned again, I found another note from Stacey. Let it also be known that Jenna thought it a bad idea to let Stacey talk for her, as we've spoken about this since. I wrote another letter again disproving her arguments and again saying that it is extrememly unfair for her to not help. They came back with outrageous comments such as "Jenna shouldn't change herself for [me] just because [I] want the apartment clean" and that "if [I] want the apartment clean, [I] should do it myself" to which I'm screaming to myself "THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING!!!"
As previously mentioned, I have spoken to Jenna since, and in a last, desperate attempt to regain my sanity appologized for being "mean" and "demanding", even though I didn't mean it. There are many more things that Jenna has done to me as a result of this, but my hands are tired from typing, your eyes are tired from reading, and my time is running out.
Just now, Jenna came down to the school with nothing to do, and as I was working in the office, I couldn't really hold much of a conversation with her. She said she was bored and was going to go find something to do, and as she was walking out, I suggested to her that she go home and wash the dishes, which have been piling for a week and that she said she would do. She stopped, turned, looked at me, and left without a word. What I guess I'm trying to ask is this through the whole thing:
AM I WRONG? Am I wrong for working very hard and, when in a pinch, asking for help from my room-mate? Am I wrong to expect that said room-mate will comply since she is a VERY part-time student and works one part-time job? Am I wrong to leave things for my room-mate to do (especially when she says she'll do them) and leave them there for her to do, even when things pile and smell, when it against my better judgement to both leave the pile there and do it myself, for fear that I will instill in her habits of laziness?
What am I supposed to do?!
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